Legend Jyll Watson.

Photo: Jenny Watson-Easther at a previous OGL Luncheon with her sister in law the late Jyll Watson who passed away in Decenber, 2018.
At our Luncheon on Friday 12 April we had the privilege to hear Jenny Watson-Easther give a heartfelt memorial speech in honour of her sister in law Jyll.
Jyll was a straightforward no-nonsense person who always spoke her mind and was an inspiration to others.
She worked in the Bindery, Mailing Section and Micrographics in the City.
After retirement her life took on a busy spin with her involvement  in numerous charities which involved her favourite hobby of baking all sorts of baked treats.
Jenny presented a framed copy of the speech to Jyll’s husband Bruce and their two twin daughters Kerryn and Sherryn.
Jyll’s name will be placed on the Bernie Smith Legends Board located in the West Adelaide Bistro Area.
It was a special time which highlighted Jyll’s commitment to community and people. She was a Legend.
Thank You for all those who attended.

Alex Riley.

The Sad Life of a ‘Tightarsed Bullshit Artist’.

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Photo: The late Harry “The Horse” Kinder (left) warned me many years ago about what a bastard Alex “The Toff” Riley (right) could be.
YOU BE THE JUDGE…
THE first story begins on a visit to the Adelaide Airport when The Toff was pulled aside and asked if he had any objection to being tested for bomb making residue on his clothing.
The Toff sarcastically replied that he was a 90 year old retired “Planner in Charge” who had lost the use of both of his hands in the Korean War and had not made any bombs that week.
The security guy went ballistic and said that he would have him frog marched out of the airport and be made to appear in front of Tony Abbott the very next day.
The Toff clamped up and offered up only one word answers from then on. Luckily the State Governor put in a good word for Alex and he walked free.
Well f**k me, then it happened again.
The very next time The Toff returned to the airport he was pulled aside and asked the very same question again.
This time the Toff replied cautiously and said he was now a 75 year old pensioner with “disabilities” and had fought in Vietnam.
The security guy apologised and said he was only doing his job. The Toff was not amused and muttered under his breath “moron” as he walked away.
Well f**k me, then this happened.
Some months went past and then The Toff received a letter from a Bad Debt agency.
The letter demanded how and when was he going to pay the $2,500 fine for the shop window front in the Riverland town of Berri that he tossed a wheelie bin through on New Year’s Eve.
The Toff was shattered as once again he was being accused of something he did not do.
Really? He phoned the agency and said you have the wrong man as he the Toff was a 80 year old pensioner who could not lift an empty wheelie bin, yet alone throw it through a plate glass window.
The Toff said he could prove that he was at Seaton that night at a New Years Eve  Party for geriatrics, some 150kms away. Fortunately the dumb guy agreed and no more was heard.
Well f**k me, and then this happened.
Some bloke left his business card in the Toff’s “letterbox asking the Toff  to call him. This bloke David, said there was a “victims of crimes” case against the Toff regarding his assault on a woman called Elizabeth.
This time the Toff explained to the bloke that he was a 85 year old pensioner with dementia, a heart problem and had recently undergone brain surgery.
Oh! said the bloke – sorry about that but a number of people have said they think you look like a sexual predator. 
Well f**k me said The Toff, how many more bastards are using my name out there.
by Anonymous in the Interests of Public Safety!

Luncheon Report.

Our Legends Luncheon on Friday was an amazing success.

Here are the people who made it a great day:
Trevor Roberts and the wonderful Barbara Roberts, Big Den Grover, Mister and Missus Kevin Stack (hyphenated) Neale, Bob Downs (ankissmyass), Ellen Krueger, Madam Marianne Hunn, The Flacks, Helen and Jack (Globetrotters), Tony Fitzsimmons, Ian (handbinder and sportsman) Pedler, Geoffrey (Giraffe) Michell, Karl ‘Charlie’ Korff,and Ruth, David and Thelma Korff, ‘Happy’ Ray Belt, Alex ‘Toff’ Riley, Rod ‘Honky Tonk’ Parham, Rob and Wendy Powell, Victor Potticary, Conrad and Norma Rogers, Eunice Wright,  Keith (Oko) Oxley, Michael (Undertaker) Burnett, Marilyn and David Harding, Brian ‘Grubby’ Hartshorne. Who did I miss?
Special Thoughts went out to Jyll Watson, Ian Grunert and the others of us who are not feeling too well at this time.

HAVE A HAPPY AND SAFE CHRISTMAS  

from the Old Guv Legends

Guess Who at Government House in 1998?

Our Alex Riley (The Toff) was a frequent visitor to Government House, Adelaide during his time at the Old Guv.
Numerous stories abound about his grovelling to the Queen’s Representative in South Australia.
During his visits selling Christmas cards to the Government House staff he managed to acquire some lovely items of silverware to grace the Riley mansion at Bridgewater.
However, on this day in 1998, this pathetic and lonely photo was taken at Government House as Alex was about to welcome an old mate back to Adelaide.

John Winston Howard, our beloved Prime Minister was delighted to catch up with Alex who had once polished the great man’s shoes in Rundle Mall.

I had a crap 2016 and it cost me Money.”

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Last year Bridgewater in the Adelaide Hills was hit with a hail storm accompanied with the worst winds in 20 years.
The mercury plunged to around 0.9 degrees around 11.00am.
In the past 12 weeks 553mm of rain has fallen up here.
We had four trees lopped at the top and branches were strewn about like feathers and some acted as spears entering the soft ground by up to 100 to 150mm.

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The hail lasted around 20 hours before melting. Our power supply was off for approximately 14 hours.
Fortunately, the Rileys have a combustion wood heater, but no fan.

Boo Hoo!

The Toff      

Quotes from ‘Old Guv Wankers’.

1195426713277837437cartoon_balloon_steve_ka_03Les Hawes to Alex Riley
“Laddy! I am the the Government Printer – don’t you ever, ever. answer me back – do you understand?” “And I will be watching you very closely.”
Alex Riley (trembling) to Les Hawes
“Yes Sir, it will never happen again. I hope.”
Ron Evans to Jack Wells
“Jack it is better to arrive late – than not arrive at all.”
Nobby Clark to the Jobbing staff
“The next person who whistles that bloody “Joey’s Song”, I will personally sack.”
Edgar Andrews to Alex Riley
“Alex, MR HAWES IS THE GOVERNMENT PRINTER and he wants to see you now! Not bloody later”.
Fred Hardwicke to Ron Evans
“It’s my little job (foreign order) Ron. So, fuck off out of it!”
Ron Evans in reply to Fred Hardwicke.
“Oh! I’m very Sorry Fred.”
Ron Evans to Frank Harding
“Frank it is several minutes before knock off time. Mr James would NOT like to see you with your coat on way before the knock-off bell.”
Frank Harding back to Ron Evans
“But Mr Evans I have been wearing it all day as it is been so cold in here.”
Ron Evans to Alex Riley during overtime
“Alex, I do hope you haven’t been factory drinking tonight?”
Alex Riley back to Ron Evans
“No Sir, Mr Evans as you can see the beer bottle tops are all from interstate.”
Les Hawes to Alex Riley
“So I see that you have placed an order for two gallons of petrol. What, did you go to Victor Harbor?”
UNKNOWN to all Staff
“Henceforth the Old Guv shall be known as the Home for Incurables.”
Alex Riley in reply to Les Hawes
“No Mr Hawes I had to return some cake trays to Balfours Bakery up in Rundle Street”.”
Les Hawes shouts back at Alex Riley
“You did what? You will get NO petrol from me!”
Fred Hardwicke to Peter Sheppard
“None of my staff will be setting up your daughter’s wedding invitation so fuck off and ask someone else!”
The Toff