Dirty Tricksters: Lockier, Bastard Driver and Bomber Gurr.

Bruce Lockier nailed an empty sardine can under Ross Jolly’s chair in the Reading Room. Poor old Ross searched his room for days, but alas could not find where the stink was coming from. Finally he went to Lockier and pleaded with him to reveal the hiding place. What a dirty trick to play on […]

The Kiddie from Kadina.

Bruce Kutcher was born at Kadina under the shade of the Wombat Hotel. He worked for a small print shop before moving to Adelaide and settling in at the Old Guv. As a jobbing comp, Bruce was well skilled and no job was beyond his talent. He was placed under the watchful eye of Fred […]

The Sad Life of a ‘Toffy Nosed Git.’

Photo: The late Harry “The Horse” Kinder (left) warned me many years ago about what a bastard Alex “The Toff” Riley (right) could be. YOU BE THE JUDGE… THE first story begins on a visit to the Adelaide Airport when The Toff was pulled aside and asked if he had any objection to being tested […]

The Secret Life of ‘Possum Whisperer.’

The Photograph above shows a wise middle-aged gentleman with his young protege basking in the sun and lolling around on the grass near the Old Guv. The people in the photo are Harry Kinder, a polite well dressed Englishman and excellent Compositor. Sitting close by is Alex Riley, a young toffy nosed lad and child […]

The Day Dad Lost 800 Pounds.

Back in the early 1970s my parents booked a conducted tour of England and the continent. At a pre-departure meeting my father asked the Tour Director what was the safest way to carry money. The Tour Director advised my dad to purchase several men’s singlets and cut patches out of one and sow the patches […]

For Bob Miller the Toff’s prank was no Joke.

  “Here’s a little story mate about The Toff’s cruelty to his fellow man  and  it goes like this….” One winter’s day Alex is on his way to work at Netley, and the rain was fairly bucketing down. Alex had just driven past the Rex Hotel when he spies the late poor old Bob Miller […]

Sam Lawn outfoxes The Toff.

Alex The Toff Riley when a Sales Officer would often return to State Print around 4.00pm. After settling in he would ring Brian Grubby Hartshorne to enquire about his jobs in progress throughout the plant. On this day Grubby’s phone was not answered. Bugger me says Riley and departs for Grubby’s office after phoning another […]

A Wet Wedding saved by Poo Bags.

The happy couple planned the Perfect Wedding, at beautiful Sellicks Beach located South of Adelaide. The weather  forecaster said, ‘No bloody worries, it’s going to be a belter.’ So with hope in their heart and their wonderful relatives and friends in tow hey made their way down to the beach. Everyone was  just so excited […]

Guess Who at Government House in 1998?

Our Alex Riley (The Toff) was a frequent visitor to Government House, Adelaide during his time at the Old Guv. Numerous stories abound about his grovelling to the Queen’s Representative in South Australia. During his visits selling Christmas cards to the Government House staff he managed to acquire some lovely items of silverware to grace […]

Quotes from ‘Old Guv Wankers’.

Les Hawes to Alex Riley “Laddy! I am the the Government Printer – don’t you ever, ever. answer me back – do you understand?” “And I will be watching you very closely.” Alex Riley (trembling) to Les Hawes “Yes Sir, it will never happen again. I hope.” Ron Evans to Jack Wells “Jack it is […]