I was Mr. Hyde at work and Dr. Jekyll at home.

Alternative Title: I never ever Swore in front of my wife.

One day at Netley, Mr. Wayne ******* Brown decided that he had gutful of working at The Guv and decided to do something about it.
So he made up some ******* excuse about a ******* doctor’s appointment and went for an interview for a ******** job at another ******* print shop.
As the interview progressed, Mr. Hyde (sorry, Wayne) slowly began to realise that this ******* boss expected him to run the whole ******* shebang. Not just be a ******* Binder.
**** Off! said Browny. “I make the same ******* money at The Guv, just by being a ******* guillotine operator and telling everyone to get ****** all ******* day!
And with that Wayne scurried back to The Guv and never left Netley until his ******* Retirement!

Only then did he stop Swearing.

Warren

Little Charlie Korff.

1900blackwhiteboynewspaperoldphotography-1022f2033f123eb583c6ddce0b34c439_h_1-scaled500Picture of the the lovable “Charlie” as a newspaper boy.
Karl “Charlie” Hans Korff was born on 27th April. 1934. It was the International Year of Short people.
Charlie went through all of the usual problems in his youth, for example having teeth, growing hair, trying to speak English and a little broken German.
He was only a small boy during WWII and it wasn’t the greatest time for a youngster with a German background to be in Australia at that time.
However, upon reaching puberty a strange haunting voice said, “Charlie, One day you should become a Compositor.” To which Charlie replied, “But, I can’t read music”. Oh well!
Charlie has always thanked that voice because it provided him with a chance to work at The Old Guv.
He was a brilliant footballer in his youth with South colts and Thirds and much better than brother Paul, who was much better at table tennis.
He was apprenticed to Stock Journal Publishers at age fourteen and stayed seven years before moving on to Specialty Printers. At Specialty he come across Adrian Riosa, Nick Penn, Chris Candlett and Con Rogers.
He started at the GPO in 1976 after 21 long years with Specialty Printers.
Charlie is part of the famous Korff family (Dickie, Paul (deceased) and Charlie) all who worked at the Government Printing Office at some time or other.
When working with Charlie Korff, you didn’t realise just how healthy you were.
If you came to work sneezing – he had the Flu.
If you sprained a finger – he had a broken wrist.
If you twisted an ankle – he had a broken leg.
Dear old Charlie was always sicker than you.
But, he was a Very Lovable Man!
Warren

‘Eric Miles Where are You?’

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Remember Eric (The Crayfish) Miles? Several years back, Eric, was seen hanging around the Waymouth Street Bus Station.
He was desperately hoping to pick up some casual Bus Driving jobs.
He had fallen on hard times. He had lost a number of good bus driving jobs simply because of his obsession for 1970s CB Radio.
It was redundant, but The Cray (“a tall spindly man who was all arms and legs with a head full of shit”) still clung onto this ancient language of truck and long haul bus drivers.
No-one knew exactly what Eric meant when he spoke. To them a “Hotplate” was something normal people cooked Snags on. But to the CB people it was a highway truck weigh station.
Calling our cops “Smokey Bears” who lived in the USA meant nothing to Aussies who were used to calling our noble officers “pigs.”
So sadly, Eric was out of work and then the big break came.
Eric Miles was approached by The German Peoples Car Company (VeeDub) to promote a submarine version of their car.
Oh! Yes! The contract banned him from ever using CB language again.
The car was named appropriately The VeeSub (see picture).
It’s a Crayfish powered mini submarine that will dramatically reduce the cost of the underwater trip from Adelaide to Port Lincoln.
Well done Eric!
derwombat

The Day the Car Pool nearly Died.

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This Tale is about the night I saved the lives of Chris Smith, Trevor Smart and Ian Bailey.
And, myself of course.
The four of us had a little green mini-minor that we car pooled to work. Trevor normally drove to work and I usually drove home.
Ian Bailey was quite content to sit in the back staring blankly out of the window, Chris Smith sat next to Ian rubbishing everyone he could think of, but especially Ashley Williams, Russell Wight and Rod Parham.
Trevor would tell anyone who would listen about the wackas and gossip that came out of the front office that day.
He banged on boring everyone shitless!
I would drive ever watchful of the road ahead. But with Chris and Trevor droning on in the background it was difficult to concentrate.
I would not put shit on any person and would not back-stab any of my workmates all of whom I held in the highest regard.
We were at the top of Marion Road waiting to turn right into Main South Road. The lights changed and as I went to turn, suddenly, a car flew in front of us cutting across our path.
I calmly pulled the wheel neatly avoiding a fatal accident.
But we were now heading up Flagstaff Hill Road.
After our near death experience, everyone patted me on the back.
As we headed up Flagstaff Hill Road, Chris wanted to celebrate by getting on the piss (this was no surprise).
Trevor wanted to buy a X-Lotto Ticket, meanwhile Ian Bailey kept staring blankly out of the window…
The late Warren Pietsch

Sojar Remembers.

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Here are some names I can remember from my Old Guv Days:
Bob Mason, Don Ledo, Debbie Almond, Margaret Hunt, Keith Luce, Phil Sweet (deceased), Alan Baker, Aad Stegink, Tracey Stone, Robin Carter, Frank Mantovan, Peter Reeve (deceased), Reg Hartshorne (deceased), Fiona Lamont, Jim Scott, Esther Rivett, Phil Romas, Peter Stanbridge, Phil Gamble, Dave Richards, Jan Caught, Ian Mortimer, Frank Timko, Roy Jago, Norma Greenhalgh, Sophie Moursellas, Joy Dawson, Des Brown (deceased), Margaret Chennell (deceased), Peter Megyery, Chris Smith, Anatoly Onishko, Helga Bargmann, Ray Cochrane, Herb Kiess, Craig Smith, Adrian Chennell (deceased), David Elphick, Trevor Roberts, Max Gill (deceased), Karen Schaefer, Greg Small, Chris Rochow, Dion Williams, Alan Davis, Charlie Korff, Colin Goodfellow (deceased), Mike Burnett, Jenny Barker and Lorraine O’Loughlin.
With Respect to those of our workmates who are no longer with us.
Sojar (Russell Wight).

Ivor Bleach, the Old Guv’s Evel Knievel.

001-11The late Ivor Bleach was an Englishman who was a hot metal compositor and had worked at the Griffin Press prior to starting at the Old Guv.
He was a social animal who loved parties, a pint of beer, apples and his little motor bike.
His wife (deceased) loved parties too, her name was Pearl, which was a bit unfortunate for Pearl.
Ivor could be quite annoying at times, he chomped loudly on apples while listening to Ted Powell and Myles Conlon.
They both disliked him intensely.
But it was his antics on his motorbike on his way to work and on his way home that defied description.
He had been involved in a number of prangs and dingles and was lucky to be alive. He was quite honestly a terrible bike rider and road hog.
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“Ivor, I wish you’d be more careful on that bike of yours!”
“’ere then – move over a pica!”
“I’m sure there wasn’t a fence around that bloody hole!”

Stolen Biro