‘Fletch’ versus ‘Wingy’.

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The Old Guv’s Production Manager at Netley Ron “Ankles” Fletcher awoke from a dream one morning that was just so “beautiful”.
For that night he had dreamt that he was the Grand Imperial Wizard of Freemasonry and before him on the Stone of Sacrifice was one Cathy Wing.
Now Cathy was a Tea Lady and had been since Day One!
The fact that she could talk under 40 feet of wet concrete with a mouthful of marbles was a bit offputting for some.
But she was a mine of gossip and made a good cup of Tea (except for the day she forgot to put the Tea in the Urn).
Cath never deserved what Fletcher had planned for her. So he gets me in as the Union Rep. and announces, “We are getting a Tea and Coffee Vending Machine!”
“Does that mean that eventually Cath would lose her job?” I asked. “That is a good word, Eventually.”
“Yes, she would be surplus to requirements and eventually we would have to let her go,” he answered.
Which when translated into BossSpeak means “We’ll Fuck Her Off!”.
“So are we going have an Assessment trial of the Machine, while Cath stays on?” was the question.
“Yes”, he replied. “I’m quite confident that free vending machine coffee and tea will win the day!’
As I left his Office I muttered under my breath, “Like Fuck it will!”
The Rest is history, no-one touched that vending machine, no-one had vending machine coffee or tea. it just sat there until the day they took it away.
Cath was happy to keep her job.
Ankles was furious and accused me of organising a “Black Ban.”
“Prove it!” I replied.
derwombat

Legend Trevor Roberts

Trevor Roberts was born 1 May, 1951 in Yallourn in the Latrobe Valley.
Trevor’s parents were Frank and Thelma Roberts. His siblings were brother Doug and sister Glenda (deceased) and younger sister Lois.
He went to school at Geelong West, Colac and Ballarat West primary schools and then Currumburra and Preston Technical schools. 
Trevor started his composing apprenticeship at the Salvation Army Citadel Press, Victoria. After six months he transferred to Adelaide working for Alan J Weatherall Pty. Ltd. as a compositor.
Trevor began his career at Government Print on 23 August, 1976 and retired on 15 September, 2017. His last eight years were as parliamentary services officer at Riverside.
He married Barbara Raymond on 1 July, 1972, three children followed -Timothy, Craig and Todd.  Has three daughters in law and nine grandchildren.
Coached cricket and football for Para Vista Primary School. Managed under 14 and under 16 cricket sides at East Torrens Cricket club as well as managing the mini league at North Adelaide Football Club.
Trevor and Barbara successfully ran the canteens at North Adelaide for 7 years including  5 canteens and two BBQs and also fundraising for various different youth groups.
Life after work for Trevor and Barbara includes cruising the oceans and going to Tuesday night Bingo. They enjoy watching their grandchildren playing football, netball, cricket and calisthenics.
Trevor enjoyed his time at the ‘Guv’ until the last two years at Riverside which were challenging and stressful.
Trevor Roberts you are indeed an Old Guv Legend.

The Cricket Team in 1992.

Photo courtesy Tony Fitzsimmons
Left to Right: Todd Roberts, Lew Murray, Richard Searle, Darryl O’Keefe, David Wynes, Russell Wight, Neville Riddle, David Lee, Chris Smith, Phil Pocock, Alan Davis, Tim Roberts and Craig Roberts.
The umpire was Bruce McColl.
The Match was held in 1992 at the Strathmore Reserve in Victoria.
South Australia 95 Runs defeated Victoria 94 Runs. A Close One.
Sojar

Who was the strange ‘Tie Cutter?’

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1. Who was the Comp who would befriend all newcomers in the Comp Room?
2. He would gather all the information about their lives, their marriage, their children and their hobbies.
3. He would befriend them, they would think he was a lovely man…
4. After about 3 or 4 months he would cut all ties with them!
5. Some say he never spoke to them ever again.
6. His longest friendship was with Alf Slender (a pleasant Englishman).
For over a year the two families would socialise together. They went to the movies, had picnic days, attended Dances (where Alf played the Drums).
Then, on a Monday morning after a Weekend of joyous family fun, Alf said “Good Morning” to the Mystery Man.
There was absolute SILENCE. For a second time Alf said “Good Morning”.
Our Mystery stranger turned and walked away and never spoke to Alf Slender from that day on.
7. He did this to everyone! People nodded to him in public, he never nodded back! It was as if they were dead to him!
8. I remember him doing it to Leigh “Scungy” McCormack. He did it to me!
He probabably did it to Russell and Nick as well…
The Late Warren Pietsch

The Day Dad Lost 800 Pounds.

lewerica_zpsa50e798bBack in the early 1970s my parents booked a conducted tour of England and the continent.
At a pre-departure meeting my father asked the Tour Director what was the safest way to carry money.
The Tour Director advised my dad to purchase several men’s singlets and cut patches out of one and sow the patches onto the other singlets to form a pocket large enough to take banknotes.
She explained that that was the safest way as you then put a shirt on followed by a sports coat or jumper and your money would be safe from would be thieves. Mum thought it was a great idea and promptly had six singlets made up.
On arriving in London, my dad ventured to the nearest bank and came back to the hotel with his £800 English pounds and placed them into the pocket of one of the singlets.
In the morning my parents were first to board the bus so they could get the best seats as they were heading off to Paris.
After traveling for an hour on the M1 my dad decided to do a ‘money check’ and to his dismay there was no money in the pocket. He suddenly turned green and began to sweat and mumbled to mum that he had lost his £800 English pounds.
After going through all his pockets twice and finding zero mum approached the Tour Director about dad’s dilemma.
It was decided that at the next available rest stop the bus would pull in so that dad could go through his case as he must have put on the wrong singlet.
As they were first on board the bus all the luggage had to be pulled out so that dad could search his case.
So there’s dad rummaging through his suit case checking each singlet.
Sadly after checking each one there was no sign of the missing £800 English pounds.
Being a tight arse just like me, Dad was now sweating profusely so he took off his sports coat and handed it to mum. He then dived into her case in the hope of finding his missing £800 English pounds.
Suddenly mum announces to dad that she has just found the missing £800 English pounds. Dad says don’t be stupid mum, I have been through the pockets of the sports coat 100 times and the money is not there.
Mum replied, ‘But Dad didn’t you realise that you have put your singlet on back to front’.
A true story by The Toff

The CLAP!

At the Old Guv and Netley Offices, all Comps at some time or other got the Clap!
If you were standing around talking to someone for more than five minutes, the word would go around the room and everyone one would watch and wait for you and your mate to finish your long boring chat.
When that finally happened a thunderous roar of Applause and clapping would erupt making it absolutely certain that the two slackers had been sprung!
Sometimes, the pair talking would catch on to what was coming and it was fun to watch them squirm and then try to sneak off together.
However, no-one ever missed out getting that Standing Ovation.
The late Warren Pietsch