It is no secret that Don Woolman (Flash) and Brian Hartshorne (Grubby) are Best Buddies.
At a recent Old Guv Luncheon Don agreed to be interviewed by Brian about his time at the Old Guv.
Grubby – Now Don let me say this, in my opinion you were the best Government Printer we ever had, even better than Les ‘The Bull’ Hawes. Did you enjoy getting the job over the ‘Mushroom’ ?
Flash – Yes, Brian, I was quite clearly the standout man for the job and it was a real buzz coming back as ‘Top Dog.’
Grubby – Is it true that one of the reasons you left the Old Guv was because you ran down Keith ‘Doctor Cack’ Stevenson with your pushbike in the courtyard?
Flash – Yes, that was one of the reasons. But it was after Stevenson told me that I had a bad attitude and would never make it in the printing trade that I decided to ‘piss off’.
Grubby – Now Don have I ever told you that you were the best Government Printer ever?
Flash – Yes, I believe you have on a number of occasions Brian.
Grubby – Don is it true that you were given a free ticket to the infamous and illegal Cricket Club Games night at the Netley Canteen in 1975?
Flash- Now, you well know Brian that I agreed to this interview only if that that question was never to be asked.
Grubby – Sorry Buddy. Were there any low points of your time as G.P.?
Flash – Yes Buddy, in my first two weeks I survived a poisoning attempt by Bert Cotton..
Then the Public Service employed a chap called ‘Ankles’ from Perth as our new Production Manager. This bloke had a shocking memory and a habit of telling porky pies. His employment application was a fabrication and then when he was supposed to be representing the Guv at the Drupa print conference in Germany he ended up enjoying a tax payer funded holiday in Paris.
Grubby – I’m just so sorry to hear that Don. But you were still the best Government Printer ever. Have I ever told you that buddy?
Flash – For fuck’s sake Grubs, yes you have. Now, could you kindly ‘piss off’?