‘The Unknown Bloke’ A true story from Bob.

This is just another true story by Mr BobDownsanKissmyAss, from the Old Guv Print Room, King William Road, Adelaide.
One day many years ago when the printers arrived at work there was this “unknown” bloke wandering around the machine room floor.
We asked Laurie Gilbertson (the print room storeman) who the new bloke was?
He replied,”F****d if I know.” So Laurie goes into the print room office and asks the bosses Allan Morris and Bert Parsons.
“Who is the new man over there?”
They replied, “Buggered if we know.” They then contacted Brian “Jumbo” James, who was the Acting Government Printer at the time.
Jumbo said that he didn’t know who the “unknown” bloke was either.
Hours went by and eventually a police officer arrived and it turned out that this poor devil had escaped from the Glenside Mental Hospital.
Poor bugger, he was away with the fairies and high as a kite on medication.
Word was that he probably couldn’t tell the difference between Glenside Mental Hospital and the Government Printing Office.
He did a good job sweeping the floors though.
Bob Downs

‘The Tunnel’ near the Old Guv, Adelaide.


Did you know there was an old railway tunnel just near the Old Guv building in King William Road?

Well there was!

As far as I know it was built in 1886 to service the old Exhibition Building and the Exhibition Oval near Kintore Avenue.

My grandfather Cyril used to tell me that there was a tunnel under King William Road which continued on from the Adelaide Railway Station to the Exhibition Oval.

They held the Royal Adelaide Show there in the late 19th Century as well as some international  sporting events.

The Royal Adelaide Showgrounds was later transferred to its current position at Wayville.



‘Eric Miles Where are You?’

Remember Eric (The Crayfish) Miles? Several years back, Eric, was seen hanging around the Waymouth Street Bus Station.
He was desperately hoping to pick up some casual Bus Driving jobs.
He had fallen on hard times. He had lost a number of good bus driving jobs simply because of his obsession for 1970s CB Radio.
It was redundant, but The Cray (“a tall spindly man who was all arms and legs with a head full of shit”) still clung onto this ancient language of truck and long haul bus drivers.
No-one knew exactly what Eric meant when he spoke. To them a “Hotplate” was something normal people cooked Snags on. But to the CB people it was a highway truck weigh station.
Calling our cops “Smokey Bears” who lived in the USA meant nothing to Aussies who were used to calling our noble officers “pigs.”
So sadly, Eric was out of work and then the big break came.
Eric Miles was approached by The German Peoples Car Company (VeeDub) to promote a submarine version of their car.
Oh! Yes! The contract banned him from ever using CB language again.
The car was named appropriately The VeeSub (see picture).
It’s a Crayfish powered mini submarine that will dramatically reduce the cost of the underwater trip from Adelaide to Port Lincoln.
Well done Eric!

The Day the Car Pool nearly Died.

This Tale is about the night I saved the lives of Chris Smith, Trevor Smart and Ian Bailey.
And, myself of course.
The four of us had a little green mini-minor that we car pooled to work. Trevor normally drove to work and I usually drove home.
Ian Bailey was quite content to sit in the back staring blankly out of the window, Chris Smith sat next to Ian rubbishing everyone he could think of, but especially Ashley Williams, Russell Wight and Rod Parham.
Trevor would tell anyone who would listen about the wackas and gossip that came out of the front office that day.
He banged on boring everyone shitless!
I would drive ever watchful of the road ahead. But with Chris and Trevor droning on in the background it was difficult to concentrate.
I would not put shit on any person and would not back-stab any of my workmates all of whom I held in the highest regard.
We were at the top of Marion Road waiting to turn right into Main South Road. The lights changed and as I went to turn, suddenly, a car flew in front of us cutting across our path.
I calmly pulled the wheel neatly avoiding a fatal accident.
But we were now heading up Flagstaff Hill Road.
After our near death experience, everyone patted me on the back.
As we headed up Flagstaff Hill Road, Chris wanted to celebrate by getting on the piss (this was no surprise).
Trevor wanted to buy a X-Lotto Ticket, meanwhile Ian Bailey kept staring blankly out of the window…
The late Warren Pietsch

Guess Who at Government House in 1998?

Our Alex Riley (The Toff) was a frequent visitor to Government House, Adelaide during his time at the Old Guv.
Numerous stories abound about his grovelling to the Queen’s Representative in South Australia.
During his visits selling Christmas cards to the Government House staff he managed to acquire some lovely items of silverware to grace the Riley mansion at Bridgewater.
However, on this day in 1998, this pathetic and lonely photo was taken at Government House as Alex was about to welcome an old mate back to Adelaide.

John Winston Howard, our beloved Prime Minister was delighted to catch up with Alex who had once polished the great man’s shoes in Rundle Mall.

Sojar Remembers.


Here are some names I can remember from my Old Guv Days:
Bob Mason, Don Ledo, Debbie Almond, Margaret Hunt, Keith Luce, Phil Sweet (deceased), Alan Baker, Aad Stegink, Tracey Stone, Robin Carter, Frank Mantovan, Peter Reeve (deceased), Reg Hartshorne (deceased), Fiona Lamont, Jim Scott, Esther Rivett, Phil Romas, Peter Stanbridge, Phil Gamble, Dave Richards, Jan Caught, Ian Mortimer, Frank Timko, Roy Jago, Norma Greenhalgh, Sophie Moursellas, Joy Dawson, Des Brown (deceased), Margaret Chennell (deceased), Peter Megyery, Chris Smith, Anatoly Onishko, Helga Bargmann, Ray Cochrane, Herb Kiess, Craig Smith, Adrian Chennell (deceased), David Elphick, Trevor Roberts, Max Gill (deceased), Karen Schaefer, Greg Small, Chris Rochow, Dion Williams, Alan Davis, Charlie Korff, Colin Goodfellow (deceased), Mike Burnett, Jenny Barker and Lorraine O’Loughlin.
With Respect to those of our workmates who are no longer with us.
Sojar (Russell Wight).