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The Old Guv’s Production Manager at Netley Ron “Ankles” Fletcher awoke from a dream one morning that was just so “beautiful”.
For that night he had dreamt that he was the Grand Imperial Wizard of Freemasonry and before him on the Stone of Sacrifice was one Cathy Wing.
Now Cathy was a Tea Lady and had been since Day One!
The fact that she could talk under 40 feet of wet concrete with a mouthful of marbles was a bit offputting for some.
But she was a mine of gossip and made a good cup of Tea (except for the day she forgot to put the Tea in the Urn).
Cath never deserved what Fletcher had planned for her. So he gets me in as the Union Rep. and announces, “We are getting a Tea and Coffee Vending Machine!”
“Does that mean that eventually Cath would lose her job?” I asked. “That is a good word, Eventually.”
“Yes, she would be surplus to requirements and eventually we would have to let her go,” he answered.
Which when translated into BossSpeak means “We’ll Fuck Her Off!”.
“So are we going have an Assessment trial of the Machine, while Cath stays on?” was the question.
“Yes”, he replied. “I’m quite confident that free vending machine coffee and tea will win the day!’
As I left his Office I muttered under my breath, “Like Fuck it will!”
The Rest is history, no-one touched that vending machine, no-one had vending machine coffee or tea. it just sat there until the day they took it away.
Cath was happy to keep her job.
Ankles was furious and accused me of organising a “Black Ban.”
“Prove it!” I replied.