Don Guscott.

001_3One Saturday in July, 1966, I went to watch Aussie rules footy at Alberton Oval with me mates. Sturt were playing Port. It was the start of Sturt’s Golden Era. there was over 20,000 people packed into the Alberton Oval.
Down the Northern End where we stood, a group of Young Ladies arrived. They were being chaperoned by four older men. They were all supporting Sturt, with the exception of one man with a Very Big Nose.
This man with the Giant Nose was carrying on like a “buffoon”. Every time Port scored a goal, he would run around the Young Ladies, Jump Up in the Air and then roll around on the ground.
We were all packed in like sardines, but a big space opened up around the Man with the Monstrous Nose. People were frightened..
Sturt won by one point when Keith Chessell goaled after the Siren. Then we all went home…
On the following Monday morning as I walked down King William Road to The Guv standing by the rail outside the Office was this bloke with the Colossus of a Nose.
Oh my god! It was the bloke from Alberton Oval with the Jumbo Nose and now he was leaning on the rail outside the Guv. As I passed, that was him all right!
I told my workmates about the bizarre performance at Alberton. They were frightened, being young impressionable blokes just like me.
Bugger me Dead! When the work bell went the man took his sprawling, vast, bulbous nose up to the Foreman’s desk and said “Gudday”. We looked on in horror…
After a short time I bravely approached the man with the “Dumbo” nose and asked him if he had been at Alberton. “Yep” came the reply “Sure was”. His name was DON GUSCOTT.
Within one week it had become “KEYHOLE.” He had this habit of eavesdropping on conversations. Poor Old Don!
Soon ALL the Gazette Staff were picking on him and kept it up for the next 25 years. We would pinch his Cordial, Lollies and anything he left lying around.
When he started marking his Cordial bottle we would water it down. The dark green lime soon looked like greenish urine.
MacInerney would never let up on him. Keyhole took this all in good spirits, he never lashed out but would call us “childish idiots”. Don did have a good sense of humour and would even laugh at Elsdon’s piss weak jokes. We were very cruel to him now I think about it.
Warren

 

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