Photo courtesy Tony Fitzsimmons
Left to Right: Todd Roberts, Lew Murray, Richard Searle, Darryl O’Keefe, David Wynes, Russell Wight, Neville Riddle, David Lee, Chris Smith, Phil Pocock, Alan Davis, Tim Roberts and Craig Roberts.
The umpire was Bruce McColl.
The Match was held in 1992 at the Strathmore Reserve in Victoria.
South Australia 95 Runs defeated Victoria 94 Runs. A Close One.
1. Who was the Comp who would befriend all newcomers in the Comp Room?
2. He would gather all the information about their lives, their marriage, their children and their hobbies.
3. He would befriend them, they would think he was a lovely man…
4. After about 3 or 4 months he would cut all ties with them!
5. Some say he never spoke to them ever again.
6. His longest friendship was with Alf Slender (a pleasant Englishman).
For over a year the two families would socialise together. They went to the movies, had picnic days, attended Dances (where Alf played the Drums).
Then, on a Monday morning after a Weekend of joyous family fun, Alf said “Good Morning” to the Mystery Man.
There was absolute SILENCE. For a second time Alf said “Good Morning”.
Our Mystery stranger turned and walked away and never spoke to Alf Slender from that day on.
7. He did this to everyone! People nodded to him in public, he never nodded back! It was as if they were dead to him!
8. I remember him doing it to Leigh “Scungy” McCormack. He did it to me!
He probabably did it to Russell and Nick as well…
The Late Warren Pietsch
At a pre-departure meeting my father asked the Tour Director what was the safest way to carry money.
The Tour Director advised my dad to purchase several men’s singlets and cut patches out of one and sow the patches onto the other singlets to form a pocket large enough to take banknotes.
She explained that that was the safest way as you then put a shirt on followed by a sports coat or jumper and your money would be safe from would be thieves. Mum thought it was a great idea and promptly had six singlets made up.
On arriving in London, my dad ventured to the nearest bank and came back to the hotel with his £800 English pounds and placed them into the pocket of one of the singlets.
In the morning my parents were first to board the bus so they could get the best seats as they were heading off to Paris.
After traveling for an hour on the M1 my dad decided to do a ‘money check’ and to his dismay there was no money in the pocket. He suddenly turned green and began to sweat and mumbled to mum that he had lost his £800 English pounds.
After going through all his pockets twice and finding zero mum approached the Tour Director about dad’s dilemma.
It was decided that at the next available rest stop the bus would pull in so that dad could go through his case as he must have put on the wrong singlet.
As they were first on board the bus all the luggage had to be pulled out so that dad could search his case.
So there’s dad rummaging through his suit case checking each singlet.
Sadly after checking each one there was no sign of the missing £800 English pounds.
Being a tight arse just like me, Dad was now sweating profusely so he took off his sports coat and handed it to mum. He then dived into her case in the hope of finding his missing £800 English pounds.
Suddenly mum announces to dad that she has just found the missing £800 English pounds. Dad says don’t be stupid mum, I have been through the pockets of the sports coat 100 times and the money is not there.
Mum replied, ‘But Dad didn’t you realise that you have put your singlet on back to front’.
A true story by The Toff
At the Old Guv and Netley Offices, all Comps at some time or other got the Clap!
If you were standing around talking to someone for more than five minutes, the word would go around the room and everyone one would watch and wait for you and your mate to finish your long boring chat.
When that finally happened a thunderous roar of Applause and clapping would erupt making it absolutely certain that the two slackers had been sprung!
Sometimes, the pair talking would catch on to what was coming and it was fun to watch them squirm and then try to sneak off together.
However, no-one ever missed out getting that Standing Ovation.
The late Warren Pietsch
Flippin’ and Floppin’ were swear words used by our Salvation Army workmates.
The two main users of these weak as piss swear words were the late Bert Cotton and the late Ivan (Frecklehead) Merrett.
As well Allan (Porky) Dell, Trevor (Mr. Nice Guy) Roberts and Steve Jones (Monocaster) would also use these words freely when they had the shits on with the comps.
The big question is what word did flippin’ replace and what word was floppin’ replacing?
I often wondered what a Salvation Army service would be like if they all got angry or all holy and started calling each other flippin’ and floppin’ idiots.
Can’t you just imagine Ivan Merrett telling Bert, “I say Bert, you really are a big flippin’ dobber.”
Then Bert would reply, “Ivan, go and get flopped!”
I wonder if the Salvation Army still uses these words today?
The late warren pietsch
Robert Padfield was the sort of person who should never have worked in the Printing Trade.
For a year or so, he used to pick Parham up on the way to the Netley Complex.
He was a huge laugh and also good mates with John Freebairn, another apprentice comp.
He resented authority and disliked Ivan “Frecklehead” Merrett (overseer and boss) and was very much a free spirit and so…..
One day in the Comp Room, Robert wrote on the back of his time sheet.
IVAN MERRET IS NOTHING BUT AN Effing C#@T.
He must have forgotten about it and at the end of the day Robert handed his Time Sheet in.
Ivan took one look at what he had written, walked out of his Office, went over to Padfield and said…
“THERE’S TWO T’S IN MERRETT, Robert.”
The late warren pietsch
“Here’s a little story mate about The Toff’s cruelty to his fellow man and it goes like this….”
One winter’s day Alex is on his way to work at Netley, and the rain was fairly bucketing down.
Alex had just driven past the Rex Hotel when he spies the late poor old Bob Miller up ahead.
Bob is struggling in the wet to keep his pushbike on the road when our “Hero” sees a huge puddle of muddy water just ahead of Bob.
So quite deliberately he speeds up and sends a huge Tsunami of Water crashing down on Bob.
So Bob is covered in stinking muddy water courtesy of Riley. When Bob gets to work he tries to find the Cruel Alex, but can’t.
Not many people saw Alex that day as it is rumoured that he spent most of it hiding in the women’s toilet.
“Bloody Hell. That’s the worst act of cruelty I’ve ever heard of cobber”.
“Ain’t it just!”
Alex The Toff Riley when a Sales Officer would often return to State Print around 4.00pm. After settling in he would ring Brian Grubby Hartshorne to enquire about his jobs in progress throughout the plant.
On this day Grubby’s phone was not answered. Bugger me says Riley and departs for Grubby’s office after phoning another three times with no answer.
On arrival there’s our Grubby sitting back at his desk. Riley confronts Grubby and asks why he doesn’t answer his phone.
The old Grubbs answers back smugly that if the phone doesn’t ring, He can’t answer it. Riley is stumped for words and storms off.
The following day when Riley returns, he again attempts to phone Grubby. Again no answer. After a hard day’s work Riley storms off to Grubby’s office only to find him sitting back with not a care in the world. Riley again confronts Grubby about not answering his bloody phone.
Grubby again says his phone didn’t ring. Now Riley’s getting annoyed and asks Grubby to get someone, anyone, to ring his phone. And guess what – the bloody phone rings.
Riley is now beside himself and can see that Grubbs is becoming annoyed. So, he returns to his office red faced, clearly in a state of annoyance and he tells the guys in sales his problems with Grubby and his phone. They all look surprised, but say nothing.
The next day Riley again returns to work, but this time an hour earlier, and decides to settle for a coffee. He rings through to Grubby, but the phone as usual rings off so Riley says nothing and finishes his coffee. He then decides that he will phone Grubby, JUST ONE MORE TIME.
Finally, Grubby’s phone is answered, but not by Grubby. It was answered by a workmate Peter Humby and that’s when Riley realised that he had been sucked in.
Some rotten bastard had changed Grubby’s phone number to Peter Humby’s home phone on Riley’s phone.