“The Bull Roared at Me!”

img_0172-scaled500Approaching the GP’s door red faced I timidly knocked on the door hoping he was out. A huge bellow roared ‘Come in’ and as I approached him I said ‘Good morning Mr . . . ‘
My voice was drowned out as he roared ‘ARE YOU RILEY’. trembling in fear ‘I replied yes Mr Hawes’.
He then told me that I had missed cleaning one of the light wells and it contained those fuckin PLANE TREE LEAVES.
Now here is where I went seriously wrong. I suggested to Mr Hawes that he could not be entirely correct as I always took a final look making sure that there was no PLANE TREE LEAVES about.
When he finally replied he went nuts. Riley! I am the GP and nobody, nobody ever answers me back – do you understand boy? – Trembling and humiliated and worrying about my future employment I quickly stammered out that I apologise and it will not happen again. His reply was you are so right and from now on he was going to watch me very closely – very closely indeed and don’t let it occur ever again.
After removing the offending PTL’s I returned absolutely shell-shocked to complete the lunches. The next day and thereafter I made doubly sure that the area was clear of those PLANE TREE LEAVES. During my 3rd week of employment whilst doing the lunch orders the Senior Apprentice Brian Hartshorne breezed by and asked if I had cleared the pavement of you know what.
My reply was, ‘yes Brian I make sure’. He then replied with a broad smug smile grin – ‘ are you sure – I mean really sure’. With that I crapped myself and raced to the pavement expecting to see those PLANE TREE LEAVES back…


Thankfully there was nil – but I still wonder even today if the Senior Apprentice set me up – thanks Grubby!
You A. . . hole.
The Toff